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Talking Dog Works for CIA

Talking CIA DogDeep in the Virginia Woods: A couple of of our NIP staffers were on the road in the back woods of Virginia and reported seeing a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ So they pulled over and rang the bell. The owner answered the door and told them to check out the dog in the backyard.

In the back they saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there (pictured).

‘You talk?’, they asked.

‘Yep,’ the Lab replied.

After our crack staffers recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, they asked ‘So, what’s your story?’

The Lab looked up and said, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.’

‘I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport working with Homeland Security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in… I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’

Our staffers were amazed, and wanted to bring the dog back for testing so that we could alert our readers. The staffers asked the owner what he wanted for the dog.

‘Ten dollars,’ the owner says.

‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

‘Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that.’

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  1. Terry L.
    November 3rd, 2009 at 12:17 | #1

    Hey, this story isn’t any less believable than the phony job stimulus numbers reported by the White House. Maybe you should put those stories in the humor section too.

  2. Marine Dog Man
    November 3rd, 2009 at 16:56 | #2

    Having considerable experience with military working dogs, including using one in combat operations, I wish to dispel this story. My personal experience is that by using a simple, Wish Bone Dog Biscuit as a source of encouragement, a dog will never lie to you. I’ve known one or two that stretched the truth a bit, maybe even execrated some, but I do not recall ever hearing one tell a flat-out lie; unless he was speaking French.

    Marine Dog Man

  3. Susan Filippio
    November 3rd, 2009 at 22:46 | #3

    My guess is the dog speaks better than you write, Munchausen.

  4. Sam S
    November 4th, 2009 at 20:02 | #4

    Looks like that dog is all ready to run for office.

  5. Timothy Swainhart
    November 5th, 2009 at 13:06 | #5

    That sure is a familiar story. I think I know that dog.

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