Rahim Jaffer, US-style Prevaricator

TORONTO: The US may be importing Canadian-style healthcare from our friendly neighbors to the north, but it’s nice to know it’s not a one-way street. It appears now that Canadians are importing US-style prevarication in their normal course of doing business. For us here in the US who may not be familiar with Rahim Jaffer the NIP will try to lay out the basics.

Rahim Jaffer was the first Muslim elected to the Canadian Parliament, serving from 1997 to 2008. After his defeat in the hotly contested 2008 election Jaffer reinvented himself as the “access point” for Canadian government money. According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation Jaffer purported that doors for government money “were wide open to him”:

Two businessmen who heard Rahim Jaffer speak last August at a Toronto-area restaurant believed the former MP would be their connection to millions of dollars in government grants.

The men, who spoke to the CBC on condition of anonymity, said they were lured to the Aug. 25 meeting by an email that boasted: “Rahim Jaffer, who is the Canadian government money access point for us, will be in attendance.”

“We left with the impression Jaffer was the source of funding,” said the president of one company who pitched to Jaffer and his business colleague Nazim Gillani, the author of the email and the organizer of the meeting…

The two businessmen say they were presented with Jaffer’s business card, which indicated he was an MP, and his address was Centre Block at the House of Commons. Jaffer had lost his seat a year earlier. John Nicol and Dave Seglins, CBC News

Jaffer apparently has been studying the US stimulus boondoggle. He co-founded a company that pitched whopper-sized projects to the Canadian government, including a proposed $480-million “shovel-ready” and waste disposal project, looking for $100 million in government funds.

Wednesday Jaffer was grilled by a parliamentary committee and denied everything:

Jaffer’s story, the one he’s sticking to, sounds like this. None of his meetings with cabinet ministers led to any federal contract or financial benefit. Despite considerable contrary evidence, he didn’t lobby on anyone’s behalf, circulate a business card suggesting he was still an MP after his 2008 election defeat, or use his wife’s office to advance his interests. And entrepreneur Nazim Gillani’s claim that the former politician promised to open doors in the Prime Minister’s office was just “puffery.” James Travers, Toronto Star

Jaffer’s testimony alludes to the business card obtained by the CBC during their investigation. Maybe what Jaffer meant to say was that he didn’t lobby on anyone’s behalf, he just pretended to in order to get their money. At any rate he says he’s not guilty since he wasn’t successful in obtaining government funds. “Your honor, you’re right, I did try to rob the bank, but the vault was empty.”

We heard that Sharia Law demands that those who steal have their hands cut off. We wonder what is the penalty for lying? Our guess is that if a Muslim is caught lying to infidels he gets bonus points instead of a penalty.

Richard Heene and Balloon Boy Falcon

FORT COLLINS, Colorado: It’s a great day in the prevarication business when we get to nab a famous liar right out of the daily headlines. It appears that we get to welcome Balloon Boy Hoax Perpetrator Richard Heene to the NIP Famous Liars Hall of Shame. We’ll have ample time to bloviate at a later date, but so far here are facts:

Thursday October 15 people all over the world stopped to watch live TV as a runaway balloon in the shape of a flying saucer flies over Colorado at speeds estimated up to 25 mph. Reportedly a 6 year old boy was trapped inside with questionable hope of rescue. The drama was riveting, so much so that TV media cut away from a speech by the president to cover it. (Sorry Barack.)

In an hour or so the balloon begins to deflate and lowers itself gently to the ground as millions around the world breathe a collective sigh of relief. The compartment stowing the balloon boy is opened, and to the horror of the viewing audience the mini-gondola is empty. Where is the boy? Did he fall to his death? Did he somehow escape unnoticed? 

We soon learn the name of the missing boy, Falcon Heene. In a couple of hours the news breaks that the Falcon has been found hiding in an attic, much to the relief of the viewing audience and his parents Richard and Mayumi Heene. By this time though we have discovered that the family were media hounds who had appeared on a reality series “Wife Swap.” We begin to wonder if we could have been duped. Statements made by Richard Heene about voltage and electrical discharge caused this writer to question his honesty.

The next morning the family appears during an interview on CNN. Statements made by the truthful young boy don’t jive with the father’s statements. As the family is shepherded from interview to interview, the stress on young Falcon makes him throw up on camera. Suspicion grows as we ask ourselves if we would prance all over the media if such a life-threatening event had happened to our family.

Sunday Fort Collins Sheriff Jim Alderden makes a statement that he expects charges to be filed of conspiracy, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, false reporting to authorities, and other charges yet unspecified. Alderden stated that Heene’s story appeared plausible until the family was interviewed on CNN. When balloon boy Falcon was asked why he didn’t come out when called he answered, “You guys said, that we did this for a show.” Apparently that was the clue the enabled crack detective Sheriff Alderden to crack the case.

By Sunday we hear from the AP that the dad had a considerable history of bizarre stunts. Fox News reports that an ex-colleague says the incident was not an accident. Robert Thomas reveals to Gawker.com that he helped Richard Heene plan a balloon hoax. CNN reports the balloon was not capable of lifting off with the boy. Already Wikipedia has the details for you to pore over.

Folks in the media are reporting estimates at what this stunt has cost the state of Colorado in terms of emergency services, not to mention the cost of shutting down nearby Denver airport during the incident. We hope that they subtract from the costs incurred the profit the media has made reporting the event. We are sure media outlets all over the world will rush forward to reimburse Colorado and Federal Aviation authorities for their expenses.

We here at the NIP of course owe a debt of gratitude to Richard Heene, as there are few times we get add such a famous prevaricator to our Hall of Shame being caught right in the act. Bravo Richard!

2005 Crystal Globe

ZURICK: In 1977 Roman Polanski, then aged 44, seduces a 13 year old girl, Samantha Gailey. According to court transcripts Polanski first lures the young unescorted girl into posing for nude and semi-nude photos.

Her mother thought he was photographing her to consider her for upcoming screen roles, but Polanski had something else in mind. In his second photo shoot at the home of Jack Nicholson he gives the 13 yr-old alcohol, and to make sure she becomes compliant to his sexual advances gives her quaaludes. When she was sufficiently pacified he raped and sodomized her.

The crime, flight from justice are old news. But what is disturbing is the reaction of Hollywood and the entertainment industry to his recent arrest by Swiss police.

Polanski was arrested and was initially charged with rape by use of drugs, perversion, sodomy, lewd and lascivious act upon a child under 14, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor. After his conviction he fled the country and has been at large until his recent arrest by Swiss authorities September 30, 2009.

What makes this case so interesting are the statements by Hollywood elite who have come to his defense. According to the Guardian, names include Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese, David Lynch, Harvey Weinstein, Pedro Almodóvar and Ethan Coen, among many others. Their position was articulated by Whoopi Goldberg on The View. These Hollywood rapist apologists would like for you to listen to them and their “reasonable dialogue.” The problem with this is the court transcript which details the heinous crime by this 44 year old monster, perpetrated on a 13 year old innocent.  You can read the transcript at the SmokingGun.com.

We can understand a vicious criminal trying to escape punishment, but what does it say about the Hollywood elite who wish to excuse it?

We say to all his defenders: READ THE TRANSCRIPT. Then if you can still defend him, thanks for the warning. That tells us a lot about you. Maybe some day you’ll end up in our NIP Hall of Shame.

Just a few short years later a friend of his does a double take when he sees a man calling himself Fritz Johnson entertaining crowds at a trade show in Chicago. Johnson was a well known radio and TV personality from Omaha, who got his start in the broadcasting business by perching on the city’s flag pole for one whole month. Strange thing though, Johnson was a dead ringer for the long-lost Larry Bader. Would a person who had faked his own suicide attract this kind of attention to himself?  Surely this man couldn’t be the same person… but just to make sure he calls Larry’s brother who comes the next day to Chicago.

What makes this story so interesting is the time in which Larry Bader lived. In 1957 when Larry disappeared, America was well recuperated from WWII and the Korean War was left behind. Folks were enjoying prosperity like no other generation before. Back then you could own a nice home for $17,000 and if you were a fast-talking cookware salesman like Larry Bader you could earn enough to almost pay for it in just one year. The war effort limited domestic production of steel products so during the 1950′s door-to-door salesmen like Larry were making a killing. Salesmen were some of the few driving the great big new cars from Detroit, dressing like they had a million bucks.

I was just a boy when Larry worked for my father. He described the flamboyant Bader as a memorable character that could charm his way into any kitchen, leaving with a signed contract for a ton of new cookware. They would go out and celebrate Bader’s success with a dinner in one of those new “franchise” restaurants, Colonel Sanders Kentucky Fried Chicken. Dad used to remark how unusual it was that Larry would not only pick the chicken bones clean but he would finish off the bones too! Anything for a laugh, Bader loved drawing attention to himself. Attention was what he got all right, when in 1965 Larry made headlines coast to coast.

That convention at Chicago’s McCormick Place was the perfect place for Fritz Johnson, archer extraordinaire and TV personality, to pitch a Nebraska firm’s archery equipment. Larry’s brother hurries to the show when tipped off by his friend traveling from Akron. When he arrives at the show he is amazed at what he finds. When confronted, Johnson denies ever knowing not only his old friend from Akron, but denies even his own brother. Remarkably, asserting his innocence, Johnson agrees to be fingerprinted. When the FBI compared his fingerprints to Navy records, there was no doubt: “Fritz Johnson” was indeed Larry Bader.

In the eight years since his disappearance Larry had assumed a new identity and married a new wife, Nancy. This whole story created quite a stir in the mid-60′s. This well-known and colorful TV personality, Fritz Johnson, now had 2 lives and 2 wives. Who had ever heard of such a thing? “Fritz” maintained his innocence throughout it all. His lawyer asserted that a recent tumor removed from Johnson’s head must have “affected his memory”. Never mind the fact that just four days after Larry’s disappearance from Lake Erie “Fritz” showed up in Omaha to begin his new life.

We’ll never know the full story as Larry/Fritz died of cancer just over a year later. Did he fake his own death to scam the insurance company? Did he really have amnesia? Was he another Jason Bourne, was it the tumor, or was his amnesia just a hoax? Read the the intriguing scanned newspaper stories (click photo) and you decide: was it Larry or was it Fritz who was prevaricating?

One of my family members was there and opened the gates at Buchenwald. Within a couple of days of opening the camp he participated with the Allies when they marched every man and women from a nearby village at bayonet point through the gates to bear witness of the atrocity.

Just as late as last month this madman is still denying the Holocaust. You can read about it in the Huffington Post, and the Guardian. Read the full text of Ahmadinejad’s Sept 2009 address to the UN. As a Twelver, Ahmadinejad finishes his speech praying for the return of the Twelfth Imam. Ahmadinejad sees himself as a precursor to the return of the Twelfth Imam, whose return is preceded by death and destruction. So welcome Ahmadinejad to the NIP Famous Prevaricators Hall of Shame.

Pulizter Schmulitzer

In 2004, it was exposed that USA Today correspondent and Pulitzer Prize nominee Jack Kelley had been fabricating stories and sources. He denied the charges and resigned. Read more here: from USA Today.

Ms Pulitzer Schmulitzer

Washington Post journalist Cooke won a Pulitzer Prize for a story called ‘Jimmy’s World,” about an 8-year-old heroin addict. The only trouble was that she had created the entire story out of thin air. Once it was discovered, Cooke resigned and returned the Pulitzer. She has since sold the movie rights to her story.

Like Glass and Blair, Cooke lied about her schooling and previous experience in order to get the job. She falsely claimed to have a degree from Vassar College and to have studied at the Sorbonne in Paris.

A movie about Glass called Shattered Glass came out in 2003, starring Hayden Christensen as Glass. The tagline for the movie was: “He’d do anything to get a great story.”

Click for Video

After his autobiography A Million Little Pieces became a bestseller thanks to Oprah Winfrey selecting it for her book club, it was discovered that important parts of the book had been fabricated.

After much controversy, Frey appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show for the second time on January 26, 2006 and claimed that the “demons” that had driven him to abuse alcohol and drugs were the same ones that had led him to invent events in his autobiography. Oprah told him: “I feel that you betrayed millions of readers.”

Check out the video link. He now thinks he is some kind of celebrity entitled to special consideration. Welcome James to the NIP Hall of Shame.