BABE HUGGETT: One of the most astute and witty political and cultural journalists of our time, Mark Steyn, recently mocked President Obama as a “modern major generalist” in reference to Obama’s over-arching, bloodless speeches, pedantic dependence on failed political theory and tanking presidency. Steyn so enjoyed his pun that he used it again in a different article and who can blame him? It’s a brilliant observation but how many readers are even familiar with Gilbert & Sullivan’s song, I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General, in particular and it’s operetta in general, The Pirates of Penzance?

Now, I am not going to go into the history, Victorian politics or plot of the The Pirates of Penzance or the artistic tensions and musical rivalries between Gilbert & Sullivan here. That is for the curious to find out for themselves. So my apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan but what I am going to do is, in my own way, bring their satiric observation of Peter Principle leaders up-to-date: Read more…

Van Jones Supreme Court Nominee

WASHINGTON: With Justice John Paul Stevens announcing his retirement speculation is running rampant on who Obama’s nominee will be. The NIP has received inside information from a reliable source that the White House has already made its choice to be announced after laying the groundwork in the mainstream press.

Look next week for coverage of Justice Stevens accomplishments, already outlined in the San Francisco Chronicle today: preservation of abortion rights, support green legislation and climate issues, opposition to Guantanamo, and limits on the death penalty. As his positions are reiterated and emphasized they will build a foundation for Van Jones to be considered as Stevens’s replacement.

Jones is well known as an environmental advocate, civil rights activist and attorney. He currently serves as a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress, the George Soros-funded think tank. Jones’s work for the environment is well known, as is also his outstanding work (according to Valerie Jarrett) with STORM (Standing Together to Organize a Revolutionary Movement), a socialist group whose official Points of Unity “upheld revolutionary democracy, revolutionary feminism, revolutionary internationalism, the central role of the working class, urban Marxism, and Third World Communism.” Read more…

BABE HUGGETT: In celebration of the National Association of Education’s yearly “Read Across America” project, which started Tuesday, March 2, First Lady Michelle Obama appeared at the Library of Congress and read to a select group of youngsters Dr. Seuss’ classic children’s story, The Cat In the Hat. Her choice was appropriate enough considering that Tuesday also marked the good doctor’s birthday, who would have been 106 if still alive.

The Cat In the Hat was written by Dr. Seuss, (pen name of Theodor Seuss Geisel), in 1957 as a response to a challenge by the Life magazine writer, John Hershey, who specifically mentioned Geisel as an ideal illustrator for modern children’s books in a May 25, 1954 article titled “Why Do Students Bog Down on First R? A Local Committee Sheds Light on a National Problem: Reading”. Geisel’s publisher, Random House, asked him to write a new style of engaging children’s literature using a limited vocabulary of only 400 words, which the publisher’s estimated school children were learning at the time. Geisel cut the suggested list down to 223 and added 16 of his own.

Using the pseudonym of “Dr. Seuss”, Geisel’s The Cat In the Hat proved an instant hit and the story of the two rainy day bored young children first enjoying then panicking over the crazy, chaotic antics of a floppy red-and-white stripped hat wearing tuxedo Cat accompanied by his eagerly undisciplined partners-in-crime, Thing One and Thing Two still resonates with young readers 53 years later. Read more…

WASHINGTON: Obama, citing his recent decision granting INTERPOL diplomatic immunity announced today that jurisdiction over the fizzled panty bomber Abdul Farouk Mutallab is now being handed over to INTERPOL. This is a stunning reversal from White House secretary Robert Gibbs’ statement on January 25th that the 50 minute interrogation of Mutallab was enough.

There has been harsh criticism of the administration over their handling of the incident. Serious charges have been leveled that the administration, by ignoring the Geneva Convention, has put the USA at risk. Three days after the bomber was captured he warned that there was more to follow. Charges of incompetence have been leveled against Director of Homeland Security who shortly after the failed bombing crowed, “The System Worked.”

Responding to these charges today Obama read this statement during his daily teleprompter briefing:

Our decision to try Abdul Farouk Mutallab in civilian courts was an admirable one. It was intended to show the international community that the US recognizes the rule of law and no longer will conduct “cowboy diplomacy” in handling man-made disasters.

While our intentions were admirable, we did not go far enough. Recent criticism of our actions have made us realize that the proper handling of internationals is best handled by INTERPOL. After all that is why the organization was created.  It was for just such a case as this one that on December 17th I gave INTERPOL diplomatic immunity to operate here in the US. Little did we know just how wise and timely this decision that would prove to be.

For this reason we are now turning Mutallab over to French authorities who are sending over their Chief Inspector who will handle the interrogation and investigation. We are hereby dropping all civilian charges against Mutallab and any subsequent legal action against Mutallab will be at the discretion of INTERPOL.

INTERPOL has extensive experience in handling these types of investigations. Make no mistake– our ceding jurisdiction of this affair to INTERPOL will substantially increase our standing in the world community and will prevent Al-Qaeda from using US involvement in this matter as a recruitment tool.

Read more…

Are You Smarter Than a 6th Grader?

FALLS CHURCH, VA: We finally have definitive proof that President Obama has been watching the Fox network. Evidently Fox’s hit show, “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” has intimidated the White House.

Last week Obama appeared afraid to speak to sixth graders at Graham Road Elementary School in Falls Church last Tuesday, Jan. 19, 2010. He had apparently seen contestants on Jeff Foxworthy’s TV show get shredded by 5th graders. (NIP wonders if Foxworthy changed his legal name from NBCworthy to get the gig.)

Obama reportedly had a bad case of stage fright: “I’ve seen what happens when you go up against 5th graders, and these are 6th graders.”  Finally he was agreed to go on, but only if he could bring his trusty teleprompters. For a complete gallery of Obama’s frightening experience visit DayLife.

BABE HUGGETT: Thanks to all for the many letters and suggestions I have received from you NIP readers. Recently on the anniversary of President Obama’s first year in office I received the following report card from one of Obama’s high school teachers, a Mrs. M. She recently saw President Obama grading himself on national television. He was asked for his report card on his first year in office. She thought that NIP readers would be interested in seeing one of his high school report cards. We agreed and are passing it on to you.
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US Embassy Abjuah

ABUJA, Nigeria: Breaking news has just crossed our desk here at the NIP regarding the father of unlucky terrorist Abdul Farouk Mutallab. It is widely known that the fizzled bomber’s father met with US Embassy officials in Abujah to warn them of his son’s intent to carry out acts of violence against the United States. As most people know all interactions with US Embassy officials on foreign soil are recorded for intelligence as well as archival purposes.

The NIP was provided with the following unofficial transcript of meeting between embassy official and the terrorist’s father, Alhaji Umaru Mutallab. We need to caution readers as to the graphic nature of the exchange and also remind readers that this transcript has not been verified. However the urgent nature of this investigation demands that we make what we know public, even if there are possible errors in translation and other inaccuracies.

UNOFFICIAL & UNVERIFIED TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS BETWEEN US EMBASSY OFFICIALS IN ABUJA AND ALHAJI UMARU MUTALLAB, FATHER OF ABDUL FAROUK MUTALLAB. EMBASSY REPRESENTATIVE NOT IDENTIFIED. Read more…