NORWICH, England: The NIP has learned of a lawsuit soon to be filed against Al Gore. It appears that the Hadley CRU whose climate research has been discredited in the furor known as “Climategate” is about to sue Al Gore over the incident. More from crack reporter Jon Stewart:

Deep in the Virginia Woods: A couple of of our NIP staffers were on the road in the back woods of Virginia and reported seeing a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ So they pulled over and rang the bell. The owner answered the door and told them to check out the dog in the backyard.

In the back they saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there (pictured).

‘You talk?’, they asked.

‘Yep,’ the Lab replied. Read more…

Just last week in Chicago Reverend Wrightly Smythe was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group were surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?”

One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

Of course, Reverend Smythe was taken aback. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”

Reported by slinkycity.com